thoughts

Human affection is not vainly, even though it meet no return. Love enriches the nature enlarging, purifying and elevating it, For love supports the struggling hearts until it ceases to sigh over the world and begins to unfold its wings for heaven.Unity of Spirit gives new pinions to joy.Unselfish,ambition noble life- motives and purity,these contituents of thought,mingling constitute indivdally and collectively true happiness,strength and permance.We cannot circumscribe happiness within the limits of personal sense.The good in human affections must have ascendency over bad, and the spriitual over the animal in us, or happiness will be won.The attainment of this celestial condition would improve our lifes ,diminish crime  and give higher aims to ambition.
LOVE propagates a new higher joys of Spirit Each successive stage of experience unfolds new views of divine goodness and Love,Hope compels you not to remain in a state of fear,doubt or despression,Hope encourges you to raise your eyes and look for the dawning of a NEW DAY.

story goes on

After 5 months of being in Broward i was ready to get out of the hell hole,When i was given notice by the black women guard at 12:30 am i was leaving next morning i shook my head in disbelief flummoxed by the turn of events, so i said to the women guard,:girl when i get out iam going to take you to dinner: She smiles and sats ok,I"ll take a rain check. Breakfast at 3:30 and start to get ready at 5:30.There were about 6 of us leaving,They line us up padded us down ,cuffed us and lead us to the elevator to deliver us to the U.S Marshalls.
As the Broward guards uncuffed us the U.S Marshalls padded us down,put a chain around our waist put the handcuuffes though the chain and then hand cuff me,After that as i was facing the wall the U S Marshall said to me lift right leg lift left leg and i had my leg irons on,
As me and other Inmates where escorted to the van.There was a T.V crew filming me as i was loaded into the van.I thought to myself what devotion these people have to wake up so early in the morning only to get a 10 second clip,
What can i say about Miami,when you first come in the marshalls uncuff you sit you in R-D for atleast 8 hours before you see anyone, Then at 4 or 5 oclock the nurse see you give you a T B shot after that you see a counseler who ask a few questions, Like is there any reason you should not be put in general population, Did you ever testify against anyone, Do you have co-defendents. My answer was NO NO YES 23 years ago,
So hear i go again for the 1000s time to explain my situation. It has seemed i have explained.To everyone the marshalls at least 20 times, to attorneys to U.S attorneys  3 different Judges 40 guards and atleast 300 inmates.
So i told my story again

APPRECIATION

Appreciation involves placeing such a high valve on something that it evokes our deep admiration. Lack of appreciation will inevitally cause us to take all of life for granted, not only ours but also the precious lives of those around us.We discover the great valve of our own life as well as of the lives of others.Often our lack of appreciation can be heard in our whinning complaints of if only i had this or if only i could do that.
Instead of expressing gratitude daily for what we have,we focus on what we do not have.As a result we are blinded to all lifes good things we could be enjoying. There are internal obstacles to seeing the beauty of life clearly,Our degree of spiritul sight hinges on the honesty and sincerity.When our thoughts are filled with worry and anxiety we inhibit the creative and energetic ideas we could otherwise produce,If worry makes it difficult to eat or sleep, it becomes even more difficult to focus our minds on lifes demands,We become indecive,fearing that we will make wrong decisions, so we cant make any decisions!!!!!!!!

JAIL

I've had several friends ask me what is it like to be in prison, so I thought I'd give you a brief version of what it's like in the Broward County Jail.  Later I will tell you about the Federal Prison in Miami.  No one can understand what it is like in prison unless you have been in prison.  The difference between Broward and Miami is in the professionalism or the lack of professionalism in which they run the prison, the food, the guards, the way they treat you, they are both MAX Security but Miami is a country club by comparison to Broward.  When I was first arrived in Broward I was the only white man there, though no one gave me a hard time. One reason was that I was in the newspapers and they thought it was cool that I was a fugitive for so long.
    
     So my status was and still is as someone who got over on the government, I DO NOT SEE IT THAT WAY.
The five months in Broward was HELL, they wake you up at 3:30 in the morning every day; breakfast was, sorry no eggs and bacon, only bologna sandwich everyday.  NO BOOKS so your time goes real slow, we were on lock down 18 to 20 hours a day, only once a week we were allowed outside to have some fresh air and even then only for 1 hour.  The guards arbitrarily search are cells at least three times a week for contraband, many of times I was caught with contraband (like a packet of jelly) I would just laugh and say to the guards YA I know lock down.  After a month there where more white and Spanish inmates, I got along with all of them and I got along with most of the guards.  There was a  black women who was a guard, she was on the night shift and for some reason she liked me.  When we were on lock down at night she would make her rounds I would say to her joking; girl you be looking good tonight; my roommate would say to me Malone you are the only one who can get away with that, anyone else would go to the hole but we had alot of laughs.  Broward is where the government squeezes the life out of you until you say OK I'll say whatever you want...So I was overwhelmed when they told me I was going to Miami, the hardest part was behind me.

ALITTE FACETIOUS HUMOR
I said to the Judge for a long time your honor I was ashamed of the way I lived.So the Judge said to me,You mean you reformed,I said NO i got over being Ashamed.

new place

When you first go to any prison and walking into a new dormitiry and being stared at by all the inmates, Its not a sensation that botheres me,There a techique involved in handing it. An etiquette,The way to do it is just walk in ,select an unoccupied bed and say absolutely nothing at all. Make someone else speak first.That way you could judge thier disposition before you were forced to reveal your own!

Shikata ga nai

The ironic thing is,there wasnt much left to decide. These are maninly days, of quiet, desperate waiting for what seemed at the time to be inevitable.There is a phrase the Japanese use in such situations,when something difficult must be endured."Shikata ga nai"It   cannot be helped "Shikata ga nai"It must be done.

compassion

I see so much sadness here,everyone seems convinced that they will be alone in the next world,just as they walk alone in this one.We should sit up straight,eyes wide,and listen sometimes,Take the route that seems clear and reasonable,But we dont,We have that last drink,surf the last wave,stay the extra hour the extra week,year,you take another chance on something you dont even understand.
Compassion and empathy refocus our attention and consciousness outside ourselves, and the feeling of warmth and unconditional attention that we might give to others come back to us.


           T.Q.M    Martin

FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is really a letting go of the past. It is a decision to allow God to be God and not insist that things be our way.
Forgiveness is a deep and profound recognition of others wrongdoing against us. In forgiveness, we have to face our humanness and that of others and decide not to let sin or wrong doing win. True forgiveness lets go of the pain, releases the wrong doing, accepts the outcome, and goes on with life, better for the experience. This is why true forgiveness is so rare. Most of us don't fully forgive, and we become less for it, less loving, less giving and less caring.

Martin james Malone
18964-034
Federal Detention Center
PO Box 019120
Miami, Fla 33101